Starting Anew!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Sihan left on 22/12/06 at 1440 on SQ178 for Ho Chi Minh and will be back on 26/12/06 at 1950 aboard flight SQ 173.
haha.. shd be detailed enough for nel ba =)

unable to send him off today.
as usual.
instead, my sis and i tortured by niece by making her wear lots of different costumes for us to take pictures. today is her 4th month!
Shes so super adorable. haha.. i love her!

and.
i received marcus's card =)
(silly marcus. i didn't know it was christmas cards. and don need paiseh wad :P sigh i didn't even give christmas cards this yr :( but im really glad you sent me one! thanks dear! and your handwriting is super big its so cute.)

and xiaozhi's card.
(
haha its quite unexpected. anw i don think i have another friend called xz. but i don remember hating anyone called xz... haha im quite sure you misunderstood or sth. =) i don hate u of course. and in actual fact i don hate anyone. i dread school and all but i don hate anyone. not that i know of. haha its um a bit shocking to know that you hated me awhile coz i generally do not do things that make ppl hate me. or :P thats wad i think. its more of what i didn't do i guess.. not keeping in contact not going out w u guys.. um. i can't blame circumstances. all i can blame is my priority on studies and family and relationship. sometimes i feel that even God is not in the picture. though i try.
somehow i have a problem with commitment. i can't commit to too many groups of ppl. and ppl around me can attest to that. sometimes i am content to have my family and sihan around me. what i do give is my 100% to them. and its hard to give more of myself to anyone else. and this applies to most people i meet. maybe except a few. the few should know who they are.
for me, its more impt to cherish the now. seeing s16 disintegrate slowly was painful but necessary. coz we lead such different lives. and somehow i realised. i wasn't really myself then. but you guys sure taught me lots bout friendship and lovin' friends. and thats the memories that i carry w me even now.
but now. yes.
perhaps you're right.
we are indeed strangers.
in so many sense of the word.
)

i finished Alvin's present today and wrapped Ann's present too.

den i set off to find ann and nel and was um haha bout 45 min late. ops
anw i feel happy coz its the first time in many times tt my eyelashes didnt come down. tho of cos i put mascara for fun only =P - and its not the reason why i was late. haha. at least not the main one. alvin's pressie took too much time =P

finally met my 2 favourite friends in the world - yup the Ns.
and off to the famed new york new york for dinner.
where we ate breakfast. haha
ann and i are just weird.
but its okay.. we understand each other.
haha.
ann found her olio friends there.
while nelson was busy acting cool. haha. at least a bit.
*rolls eyes.* both taking turns msging other people.
being my more chatty self.
i talk alot to both of them.

oh did i mention that nel didn't recognise Mr Bean's Bear???!!
OMG.

esplanade was the next stop..
we wrote our wishes on the ball!
i wrote in english
and the 2Ns translated to mandarin.
our cheena seems to have deproved.
haha but ann proved her worth with some translation skills and how to write zai.
writing on the ball is fun!
but we can't spend the whole time writing on the ball as Ann pointed out.

so we went to watch p.h.d. - foriegn band
they were not bad =)
they sang.. bodyrock and sexual healing and joe - i wanna know i think.
haha. thats the 3 songs i rmb.

in the middle, alvin went to find me and i gave him his farewell cum christmas present.
and unexpectedly, he gave me a christmas present too!
haha. i was so happy. coz i didn't expect it at all and thought that i wouldn't get any this year. except one that i le suo Low for. sigh.
haha.. and his present is great! never seen such a beautiful thing. haha. its a candle holder.. which is in the shape of a carriage! so when u put a candle instead and light it up.. the top decor will turn! its so nice! i love it!

we got the ferrero rocher ice cream from venezia
its called TARTUFO
pardon me ann. but its sounds like tar toufu.
haha. anw i prefer the choc to tartufo
and ultimately i love haagen daz choc choc chip.
and low if u see this, pls rmb that i have a $10 haagen daz voucher i just received today.

and the stupid nel was jianing fei and refused to eat the ice cream with us.
stupid.
gu yi making us fat.
slaps u.

anw u stupid boy. pls get back the money i owed u
or else!!!

but i do love your present too!
which is totally unexpected as well.
haha.
and don need to feel guilty -.-
give present doesn't mean i expect any de.
i can give u i happy liaox mugger lover. hahah =P
and i will use the pooh cup u give me!
and tks for the candy cane and the cute flower!
hahah. love the silly flower!

if only.
*hints to low*
- argh. hes not here now! :( -

~10:42 PM

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

life
like a rose.
so easily bent
and.. lost.

my neighbour (32 year old guy) met with a motorcycle accident on monday.. and was pronounced dead this afternoon at 1pm.
was on the Straits Times.
Struck me... how little space they dedicate to him.
and that is what it is to any other person...
just another news paper report.
whats left is the
the pain and the suffering by the family left behind...

makes me think.. what kind of imprint that i have left behind on the lives of others?
haha probably not much.
im not a sociable person.

but really.
life is so short.
while u're still on earth, cherish it.. and the people ard u
show them u love them still.

meanwhile.
look towards eternal life.
and hang on.
do not be swayed by Men's Superstitions, Rituals and Lies.

and goodbye my faithful 7610 phone.
and sorry for abusing you so much!

~9:33 PM

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

From Rick Warren's The purpose driven life

Day 16:
The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you. If you want to know a person's priorities, just look at how they use their time. Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money but you can't make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. "My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love which shows itself in action"
Relationships take time and effort and the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E"

The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. it is FOCUSED ATTENTION. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says "I value you enough to give you my most precious asset - my time" Whenever you give your time your all, you are making a sacrifice and sacrifice is the essence of love. Love means giving up, yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else. - and it doesn't necessarily have to be your partner only.

~9:56 PM

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

sometimes i think i expect too much. definitely. but of course. the expectations come from love. the closer u are to the person, the more expectations you have of a person. after all u won expect much from acquaintance or a stranger or a friend you aren't that close to. and similarly, prolly thats why i think some people put effort into doing things or changing things ... because it would please another. but i think love is supposed to bring it to a higher level? whether its romantic love, family love or what... there is a sacrificial element. i don believe theres love without sacrifice. a sacrifice that you are willing to make. not something ppl force u into to do.. e.g. i buy things and make time for my niece because i love her and i would not do it easily for other ppl. and then there are the every decisions we make to see if this person is really on our minds. sometimes its really not what you do or what you don't do. its what you never even think of doing and would never ever even sacrifice or change.

but i realise having too many these types of unconscious expectations can be really tiring and disappointing. but no fear. the heart has a natural mechanism to protect itself. i see my heart as being protected by this trampoline. initially this trampoline is really thin. so whenever a disappointment weigh upon it, it will hit the heart and cause it pain. however i realise that this trampoline gets thicker with time. somehow i think these days (normal days without stress) these disappointments barely hits the heart. maybe its because you have "broken all my expectations" its really hard to expect anything. if anything, i expect the worst. guess this is just preparing me. emotionally. but anyway it may be bcoz of the deduction (expectations = love)

cool thing is that there is a different trampoline for everyone. but the starting thickness differs =)

oh wells =)

~1:26 AM

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