Stepping Out.

2008-09-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

一直都在

爱在你左右

我曾经失去勇气不知该往哪去
也失去信心当你宣布把一切终止了
还很多梦想没告诉你你怎么可以轻易就放弃
我曾经迷失自己生活没有目的
走走又停停最后还是回到这里
过去我们太熟悉的话语
我怎么可能舍得去忘记
爱一直都在我从不曾走开
当你回头看见我别意外
这种不知明的未来试一试又变成无奈
我还是会说等待
我一直都在永远不会走开
也许现在的你无法去明白
年少付出过的疼爱一辈子期待
搁在我心的一块你将与我同在
爱一直都在我从不曾走开
当你回头看见我别意外
这种不知明的未来是又是不变成依赖
我还是会说等待
我一直都在永远不会走开
也许现在的你无法去明白
年少付出过的疼爱一辈子记载
搁在我心的一块你将与我同在

getting married

2007-11-17T21:30:00.001+08:00

I know im supposed to be studying coz like i scored C+ for audit mid terms and only A- for com law mid terms... but...

haha we were discussing about marriage and weddings... and its super fun! hehe.

We've decided on:
1. Fullerton Hotel: 35 tables on a Friday --> cost about $34k omg.
(until there is a more premium hotel that comes along)
2. a tekan session for the groom (hehe i decided)
3. having best men and jie meis! need how many ah?
4. it should be in 2013
5. having the solemnisation at SJI chapel?
6. applying for a flat in yr 4?

total cost shd be about $50,000 hehe. die. we got to save up now!

2007-10-23T00:54:00.000+08:00

its extremely sad when you think u've found the perfect romance
but its just not in the stars for the two of you...

2007-10-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

The Look of Love
- Diana Krall

The look of love is in your eyes
A look your smile can't disguise
The look of love is saying so much more than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you

You've got the
Look of love, it's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight, let this be just the start of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow and then seal it with a kiss

I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you
Don't ever go
Don't ever go

2007-08-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Big Girls Don't Cry

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

2007-08-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

I like being intellectually challenged - at my own level of course =)
cheers.

2007-08-20T22:37:00.001+08:00

invisible.
maybe its just the start of school.
i hate this.
all of it coming back.
once again, i can't breathe.

2007-08-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes i do wonder whats going on with your life.
and hope that everything remains the same.

but how unfair.
when i see my life changing.
myself changing dramatically.

=) I do miss you as a friend lots!

and this seems to be the season for the brokenhearted and the confused.
seeing the freshmen come in confused and all...
reminded me of last year =)
and once again, im aunt agony.
come to me for advice.

hahaha =)

and sucks.
school starting soon.
at least school is looking more fun now =)

2007-08-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

"Stolen"

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

*happy*
haha.
as in
happy happy happy
tired but yea happy.
bleh.
what else can i say?

2007-07-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

mm
i didn't know
weariness can cause nausea too.
on top of the emotion-killer
tears inducing thingys.

sucks.

2007-07-10T09:37:00.000+08:00

Some do it with song
Some do it with music
Some do it with words
We do it with feeling
Oh sweet somethings

I want you to colour my days, but more
I want to occupy your thoughts
Every one of the days
For days are just moments within or without you

And if we could only hold on to these few thoughts
What would yours be?
For in free spirits like us
We have chosen commitment for you

However how does one write a poem?
When all you know is the beginning
And the end
But the middle eludes you like a lover

Yet
Because I want you
This is no longer about shoulds or should nots
For substantial insubstance in such a fleeting world like ours
Our love will stay
Eternal as stars in the night

2007-07-03T01:45:00.000+08:00

mm i guess im slow.
very slow
haha. qing n cliff broke up a few months back?
sad.

i feel guilty for not catching up with 69 peeps.
too busy always.
and when i have time, i don go find u guys -.-
haha shucks. though i really really don't have time these few wks leading up to 29 july so can't make it to lide thingy.
miss u guys though.
and i haven't seen low for wad.. about 2 weeks+?

nid to see u guys soon.

and dominoes have lots of probs!
nid God's helP!
haven been asking him!
oh nos!

2007-06-23T07:35:00.000+08:00

so easy.
=)
not surprising.
thats good.
for you.

mm but im drained
of energy.
tired.

2007-06-19T20:36:00.000+08:00

hmm so super busy these days with Dominoes of Dreams 2007
(oh for those who are interested, check out http://www.dominoesofdreams2007.org )
and i do neeeeed volunteers =) so if u're really free can contact me =)

2007-06-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

=) for those wondering.

Me and Low Si Han have officially broken up on 10 June 2007.

thanks low for giving me the many fun times together...
and best friends always =)

2007-06-10T08:34:00.000+08:00

there are just some things you can't rewind..

2007-06-07T09:13:00.000+08:00

haha.. it was interesting how you asked if i was even sad at all.
because i asked u that question a long time ago...
and what i got was nonchalance and all.
haha.
well.

i wonder if there is guilt in being happy.

2007-06-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

had a nice time w mugger lover todayz
(stop looooking at the chio girl singer lah. rmb sugar mummy. sugar mummy =P)
go out again soon.

and new york superchunky thingy is nice -->> b n j
haha well haagen daz is the more conventional one ba
but once a while u want to try something new =P

im adjusting
adjusting!

and im tired lah.
haven been able to get more than 6 hrs of slp these days
haha and its hols man
hols.

"Bizarre Love Triangle"

Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

2007-05-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

i had a wonderfully great time on 27 may.

today i woke up feeling great.
but i did up my hair and made it much worse.
received my finance results and yes thank god.
my heart goes out to alvin as well. things will pull through.
and im scared that the same things will happen again.

mm im tired.

2007-05-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Would you be there - Redwan Ali

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears instead.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I'm away, would you still think of me,
And wish that you could call me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

2007-05-23T17:50:00.001+08:00

oh my god.
i declare Professor Leong Kwong Sin as my FAVOURITE prof.. hahhaha
Management Accounting prof...
=)

2007-05-23T17:32:00.001+08:00

ok. and my eldest sister just expressed shock.
haha. well
explanations come after friday.

2007-05-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

=)
another day i feel so weary again.
tired. tired. tired.
of this.
haha.
i wonder how i can juggle the extremes.
happiness n weariness n tiredness n sadness
but maybe im not juggling at all
its really not fun being in limbo.
but well.
i wonder how ppl do it.
so happily some more. haha.
well i can't.

im tired =)

and im so going to die for finance on friday. haha.
well. and this time im not joking. =)

i wonder how people will react.
sherman n co. maybe happy coz im returning him to them
class shocked coz i was like superglue.
his mom n family sorta happy coz im not up to it anw
army frens happy coz no more disturbances during dota - concentrate fully
him ultimately happy and relieved because the burden is finally put down - no more restrictions of freedom and all that - the happy bachelor

i wonder. who'll truly be sad about it.
whether anyone will bother to look thru the pages of history to be sad.

haha.
tired.

2007-05-21T17:59:00.000+08:00

a wave of nostalgia descend as i was just reading some entries in the old blog... and looking over s69 pictures. haha. indeed... the good old times. i never thought i would look back to both hc and nj with such longing. haha. but i did =) the only regret? not taking enough pictures in J2... sorry. too busy mugging.. haha and i left the memories behind instead. sad. haha.

i realized i've changed. sort of. haha. wouldn't have realized if i didn't had all these to look back at. and wouldn't realize how much i missed hwa chong s69 if the pictures hadn't remained. chucked them at the back of my brain and didn't really look at them. more practical. more realistic. less idealistic. not so nice le. hahah thats me.

but i think. so did many of us. change i mean. change and move on. change and move on. that's life. sad as it is. we all change and move on to different phases in our lives... even our needs change. a lot of the times. separation is inevitable and all we can do is to cherish and keep the memories somewhere safe in our hearts.. knowing that you will always form a very important part of me. at this point of my life.

thank you for all the times you were with me.

2007-05-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

a great song to describe my weariness.

Drawn Out
- Dishwalla

so the lines are lost
on the smallest details
of the life that we tossed
pushed out over the rail
and the wounds run deep
through the one man so bad
he's fallen beneath
the touch of your hand

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold
nothing to find
its wearing' me out
this feeling inside
I'm all drawn out

and the promise we break it
and the reasons we fake it
bring us farther apart
from the love that we make
as the poisonous time
leaves us gasping for air
we run for the past
but were already there

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold
nothing to find
and its wearing me out
this feeling inside
and its all drawn out
its all drawn out
I'm all drawn out

2007-05-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

"Every Little Thing"
Dishwalla

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted

2007-05-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

Over My Head
- The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

2007-05-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

Copyright from Ann.

haha. the different colour coding for different ppl i think.

ESFJ

ESFJs are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people's needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJs follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job done.

Living

ESFJs follow the rules and tend to accept them as fair and reasonable. They admire people and teachers who are warm, friendly, and concerned. They are concerned about the feelings of others and like to help out when possible. They begin early to assume responsibility for the welfare of others. They believe it is necessary to give as well as to receive and will often volunteer their time and talents in service organizations.

ESFJs radiate warmth and fellowship, and generally fit in well with their classmates. They value the traditional things that teenagers do and may be involved in various clubs and teams. Their friends often turn to them because of their listening ear and helpful nature.

Often the lives of ESFJs follow a traditional pattern. In adult life, ESFJs take their parent, spouse, employee, or community volunteer roles seriously and are committed to them. They are sensitive to the needs to those around them, sometimes more attuned to others' needs than their own. They gain the respect of others because of their helpfulness, pleasantness, and ability to get things done. They carry out their commitments and are often in charge of events. Mature ESFJs often structure both their work and personal lives so that they can meet the needs of others.

Loving

For the ESFJ, love means warmth and commitment. When ESFJs first fall in love, they show this warmth and concern for their partner in many tangible ways. They will send cards, notes, flowers, special gifts, and other mementos of their affection. If the partner casually mentions a desire for a specific thing, they will try to find just that thing. Once committed in a relationship, ESFJs tend to stay with it even when there is inconvenience to them and perhaps longer than may be healthy. They are able to bring out the best in their partners, even though it may mean putting their own needs second.

Because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. Being practical and realistic, they may not always like effusive shows of affection and prefer moderation instead. ESFJs may be more loyal to the relationship or to the institution of marriage than to the person. ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure.

ESFJs, when scorned, hurt all over and may need to take time to get over the relationship before pursuing a new one. They may too easily and incorrectly blame themselves for the unfavourable outcome and recall instances when perhaps they were not as giving as they might have been. However, ESFJs' standards for giving in a relationship are likely to be above those of some other types. At their worst when scorned, ESFJs can become spiteful and critical of the partner. Because ESFJs are keenly sensitive to others and are tuned in to emotional needs, they really know how to hurt a person in the rare instances when they choose to do so.

(OMG. super accurate. haha.)

Profile by David Keirsey

ESFJs, the most sociable of all types, are energized by interactions with people, tending to idealize whatever or whoever they admire. Harmony is a key to this type, which is represented in about 13 percent of the general population.

Social ties matter to the ESFJs, and their conversations often drift to nostalgic recounting of past memories. Traditions are developed, supported, and carefully observed by the ESFJ.

ESFJs are hurt by indifference and need to be appreciated both for themselves and for the abundance, typically in the form of services, they give to others. They are conscious of appearances and take the opinions of others regarding social standards very seriously. Values in an ESFJ may take the form of shoulds and should nots and may be freely expressed. Conscientious and orderly, ESFJs may become restless when isolated from people.

Home

ESFJ mates have a set of values which contain clear should and should-nots, and they expect their family to abide by these. They are conscientious about home responsibilities, are orderly about the home, and prefer that other occupants be the same. They enjoy socializing and entertaining. ESFJs want family decisions settled efficiently and quickly and want family living routinized, scheduled, and correctly executed. They do not rebel against routine operations, are devoted to the traditional values of home and hearth, respect their marriage vows, and are the most sympathetic of all types. They tend to be dependent on their mates and may marry to insure that they have a proper place in the social strata. They enjoy the rituals connected with serving of good food and beverages, thrive on festive occasions, respect and accumulate a goodly store of material possessions. They take their role in the community seriously and are sensitive to the acknowledged, official decision-makers and identify with them. They are aware of status, and often depend on higher authority as the source of opinions and attitudes.

ESFJs wear their hearts on their sleeves and are outgoing in their emotional reactions. They need to be needed, loved, and appreciated and may spend much energy reassuring themselves that this is the case.

ESFJs usually respect and revere their parents, and as children were responsive and obedient pupils. They seem able to express the right feeling for a given situation. They are soft hearted, sentimental, and usually observe with gusto and a flourish birthdays, anniversaries, and the like, making of the event a delightful, important occasion. At the same time, however, ESFJs can cause others undue tension by expressing anticipations of gloom and doom, exhibiting a bent toward the pessimistic that can be contagious. They need to control their fears that the worst is sure to happen and suppress their tendency toward crepe-hanging and anticipating disasters.

Mates

There is a mutual attraction of ESFJ and INTP. The ESFJ, wanting to serve as an anchorage for the INTP's flights to the higher levels of abstraction, finds in the ISTP an even more likely target for anchorage. The ISTP's flights are often literal, not figurative: He really does fly. Look in the cockpit of almost any aircraft and you'll find an ISTP. Of course, most ISTPs do not fly in the literal sense; but the hankering for adventure and exploration symbolized by flight is there, and it is this, the hankering, that draws the ESFJ like a moth to a flame. How does this serve the giving, caring, comforting nature of ESFJ? Why, when the adventurer returns, of course; the giver of comfort is there to provide rest and recreation.

2007-05-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hung up on this song.

Boston
- Augustana

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

2007-05-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

today during finance class...
my prof was telling us how we can see if a signal is credible.. trustable...
and he gave the example of 3 guys chasing a girl
how does the girl judge which guy is sincere?
some girls answered effort.. and money and all that
and what does all these amount to?
to give a sacrifice that is COSTLY to the person.
Therefore, if say the guy prides his time alot (and u know it) then when he is willing to spend alot of time with you and complete time-consuming projects for u (ie very intricate presents) then u know he really means it.
It doesn't mean that every girl will enjoy guys who just spend their money on them ba.

haha well. its just an interesting discussion =) that i find quite true.

anw experienced an interesting first time today. haha. well. i like it. =)
and for you, i dunno la. haha i think. i gave u so many chances. chances u let me down again and again and again and again. haha. its tiring.

think its time im giving the chances to someone else.
but er after 25 may. :P

2007-05-11T00:13:00.000+08:00

umm im just v tired.
tired of all the tears. effort. doubts.
im just for your temporal enjoyment.
nowhere near the important stuff.
health. life. future. heart.
trust? where is it.
even i have lost my trust.
and its something that is oh so difficult to regain.
just another crack in the crystal heart.
whats new?

2007-05-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

tks dear for sending me the song.

Secret Garden
- Bruce Springsteen

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hidesShe'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heartIf you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice
You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget
She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you needWill always stay
A million miles away

2007-05-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

ah i wonder why nel is freeer these days =) meeeet u innn JUNE kkkk

Too Little Too Late
- Jojo

Ooh no

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
(You know it´s just a little too late)

So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know

It's just a little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

Yeah, Yeah
Its just too little too late

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
(You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else
I'm lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help
Cause you know

[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

It's just a little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
MAIN CHOURS

I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh

It's just too little, too late
(Yeah!)

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

(You know it's just too little too late)

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little to late)
You say you dram of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just a little too late)

2007-05-10T17:46:00.000+08:00

what a kuku song. haha ah what more to expect.. the singer already called kooks le.. hah

Naive
- The Kooks

I'm not saying it was your fault
Although you could have done more

Oh you're so naive yet so

How could this be done
Your such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way
Something so beautiful
That everytime I look inside

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I may say it was your fault
Cause I know you could have done more

Oh you're so naive yet so

How could this be done
By such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way something so beautiful
Everytime I look inside

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

How could this be done
By such a smiling sweetheart

Oh you're so naive yet so

Such an ugly thing
Someone so beautiful
And everytime you're on his side

I know she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it maybe be she's still out to get me

And I know she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it maybe be she's still out to get me

Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to your kite
Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to your kite
Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to this kite
Just don't let me down

2007-05-10T17:08:00.000+08:00

"Unfaithful"

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

2007-05-10T15:29:00.000+08:00

ah.. haha just a coincidence =P

Jets You've got it all

I was a game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
Put all your fears to rest
Who do i love the best?
Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
Over him

No, don't let him worry you so
Once I met you I let go
Oh you can surely see
You're so much more to me
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best
Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him
(You got it all over him, You got me over him)
Honey it's true there's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him

2007-05-10T01:26:00.001+08:00

ah more suitable for someone:

Click Five - Jenny

She calls me baby
Then she won't call me
Says she adores me
And then ignores me
Jenny, what the problem now?

She keeps her distance
And sits on fences
Puts up resistance
And builds defenses
Jenny, what's the problem

You leave me hanging on the line
Every time you change your mind

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
Keep me hanging on
But we're not moving on
Or standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, and it's killing me

She needs her own space
She's playing mind games
Ends up at my place
Saying that she's changed
Jenny, what's the problem

I'm trying to read between the lines
You've got me going out of my mind

Chorus

It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny

Chorus (x2)

It's killing me, Jenny

2007-05-10T01:08:00.001+08:00

Thats why you go away
MLTR

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
There is something left in my head

Yes i know

Chorus

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus

That's why you go away I know

2007-05-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

i realize how dispensable i can be. haha.

um tired. tired tired. busy busy busy.
give me a rest.
eternal rest will help. haha.

2007-05-08T23:33:00.001+08:00

Someday - MLTR

In my search for freedom
And peace of mind
I’ve left the memories behind
Wanna start a new life
But it seems to be rather absurd
When I know the truth
Is that I always think of you
Chorus:
Someday someway
Together we will be baby
I will take and you will take your time
We’ll wait for our fate
Cos’ nobody owns us baby
We can shake we can shake the rock
Try to throw the picture
Out of my mind
Try to leave the memories behind
Here by the ocean
Wave’s carry voices from you
Do you know the truth
I am thinking of you too
Chorus:
Someday someway
Together we will be baby...
The love we had together
Just fades away in time
And now you’ve got your own world
And I guess I’ve got mine
But the passion that you planted
In the middle of my heart
Is a passion that will never stop

2007-05-06T21:08:00.000+08:00

I heard this song.. and felt that it was really relevant..
and then i thought again...
who or which situation is it exactly relevant to?

an old song by bsb... old yet new u know.. not as nice as they were last time.. but yup here it is

"Incomplete"

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no way
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

2007-05-05T10:37:00.000+08:00

im tired and weary.
i think singlehood is best for now.

2007-05-03T18:54:00.000+08:00

um have been hesitating to write this. haha. but anw.
um me and low are in limbo (haha. by his words) ie. we halfway between break up and non-break up and possibly advancing towards break up.
um don ask me why (until after 25 may pls :P). things just happen and i must say. its mostly my fault. haha. perhaps yup its too early to thiink about the future. well. i dunno. can't blame anybody.

except that i want to say that...
I'll always Love Low Si Han.
my best friend forever and ever!

*muacks!*

2007-04-14T10:18:00.000+08:00

Fix You

When you try your best, but you dont succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

When tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace.
When tears stream down your face and I
When tears stream down you face i promise you i will learn from my mistakes.

lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

its just hard.. when its nearing the end..
and everything I do just reminds me of you.

2007-04-08T14:09:00.000+08:00

I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in Me,
though he may die,
he shall live.
And whoever lives and believes in Me
shall never die.

Do you believe?

2007-04-06T13:18:00.000+08:00

In Loving Memory

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

2007-04-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

seems as if i always turn to this blog when:
1. im sad
2. im stressed (coz got exams which im really gonna get screwed by this time)
3. Low goes overseas
4. Im confused

and now im have about 3 out of 4 of the situations. which is like very bad.

and somehow i think i have a knack for collecting lost sheep. even though im lost myself :)

haha. can't listen to songs rite now. makes me more confused.

"sometimes love ain't enough"
there's a danger in loving somebody too much... and its sad when you know its YOUR heart you can't trust... theres a reason why ppl don't stay who they are.. baby.. sometimes love just ain't enough....

"close to you" - carpenters
why do stars fall down from the sky... every time you walk by? just like me. they long to be.. close to you...

sigh. my two favourite songs of all time.

2007-01-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really gotta wonder.
Should I change who I am because of the people who don't know me?
or maybe i've changed a bit already.
contributing to class discussion now becomes my crime
is it being considerate worth it? if that is really consideration.

anyway. death seems to surround me these days.
my grandma passed away.
peacefully in a stroke - died within hours of sending her to hospital
am i sad? sort of. though i wasn't very close to her.
but at least she didn't suffer.

2007-01-04T13:04:00.001+08:00

http://www.questallia.com/blog/2006/10/03/how-many-phone-calls-are-you-worth/

When you say “I have lots of friends” or “I have a lot of connections”, did it ever occur to you what is the reason you have so many connections? Why do those people keep contact with you?

I wanted to find out and I did an experiment: for two months, I did not call anybody (except my family, as they would not understand such experiments) and I waited to see how many of them would call me, just to see how I am, just to say “hello, I wanted to hear your voice”. During the experiment, I was not employed and I did not start any major project that may have attracted people to participate.

With nothing to offer and hidden in my house, I had a very big surprise: during the two months, only two persons called me to see how I am. Two!

When I used to work as marketing manager for a big company, I received such phone calls every day, from many people, just wondering “how are you, my dear?”, but in reality chasing my willingness to give them some projects to work.

When I used to take initiative and call people, they would respond gladly, the connection would be maintained. � When I took no initiative, then I found out that very few people care about the others. Sometimes, even what seemed to be a 10 years friendship faded away facing my decision of not keeping those contacts anymore.

Here I am, worth three phone calls, and wiser: if you want connections, then keep them, don’t wait for people to call you, because they won’t and don’t make any illusions they care for you. They don’t really care for anybody, life is rushing them too fast, so they don’t have the time to stop and think of people they like. Usually, they stop only to think of people they need. I don’t think this is good or bad, it’s just the way it is.

Then I put is the other way around: how many people did I call without wanting something, just to check they are OK? The answer is five. In this difference of three people, between the called and the callers resides the disappointment.

So, how many phone calls are YOU worth?

2006-12-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

Sihan left on 22/12/06 at 1440 on SQ178 for Ho Chi Minh and will be back on 26/12/06 at 1950 aboard flight SQ 173.
haha.. shd be detailed enough for nel ba =)

unable to send him off today.
as usual.
instead, my sis and i tortured by niece by making her wear lots of different costumes for us to take pictures. today is her 4th month!
Shes so super adorable. haha.. i love her!

and.
i received marcus's card =)
(silly marcus. i didn't know it was christmas cards. and don need paiseh wad :P sigh i didn't even give christmas cards this yr :( but im really glad you sent me one! thanks dear! and your handwriting is super big its so cute.)

and xiaozhi's card.
(
haha its quite unexpected. anw i don think i have another friend called xz. but i don remember hating anyone called xz... haha im quite sure you misunderstood or sth. =) i don hate u of course. and in actual fact i don hate anyone. i dread school and all but i don hate anyone. not that i know of. haha its um a bit shocking to know that you hated me awhile coz i generally do not do things that make ppl hate me. or :P thats wad i think. its more of what i didn't do i guess.. not keeping in contact not going out w u guys.. um. i can't blame circumstances. all i can blame is my priority on studies and family and relationship. sometimes i feel that even God is not in the picture. though i try.
somehow i have a problem with commitment. i can't commit to too many groups of ppl. and ppl around me can attest to that. sometimes i am content to have my family and sihan around me. what i do give is my 100% to them. and its hard to give more of myself to anyone else. and this applies to most people i meet. maybe except a few. the few should know who they are.
for me, its more impt to cherish the now. seeing s16 disintegrate slowly was painful but necessary. coz we lead such different lives. and somehow i realised. i wasn't really myself then. but you guys sure taught me lots bout friendship and lovin' friends. and thats the memories that i carry w me even now.
but now. yes.
perhaps you're right.
we are indeed strangers.
in so many sense of the word.
)

i finished Alvin's present today and wrapped Ann's present too.

den i set off to find ann and nel and was um haha bout 45 min late. ops
anw i feel happy coz its the first time in many times tt my eyelashes didnt come down. tho of cos i put mascara for fun only =P - and its not the reason why i was late. haha. at least not the main one. alvin's pressie took too much time =P

finally met my 2 favourite friends in the world - yup the Ns.
and off to the famed new york new york for dinner.
where we ate breakfast. haha
ann and i are just weird.
but its okay.. we understand each other.
haha.
ann found her olio friends there.
while nelson was busy acting cool. haha. at least a bit.
*rolls eyes.* both taking turns msging other people.
being my more chatty self.
i talk alot to both of them.

oh did i mention that nel didn't recognise Mr Bean's Bear???!!
OMG.

esplanade was the next stop..
we wrote our wishes on the ball!
i wrote in english
and the 2Ns translated to mandarin.
our cheena seems to have deproved.
haha but ann proved her worth with some translation skills and how to write zai.
writing on the ball is fun!
but we can't spend the whole time writing on the ball as Ann pointed out.

so we went to watch p.h.d. - foriegn band
they were not bad =)
they sang.. bodyrock and sexual healing and joe - i wanna know i think.
haha. thats the 3 songs i rmb.

in the middle, alvin went to find me and i gave him his farewell cum christmas present.
and unexpectedly, he gave me a christmas present too!
haha. i was so happy. coz i didn't expect it at all and thought that i wouldn't get any this year. except one that i le suo Low for. sigh.
haha.. and his present is great! never seen such a beautiful thing. haha. its a candle holder.. which is in the shape of a carriage! so when u put a candle instead and light it up.. the top decor will turn! its so nice! i love it!

we got the ferrero rocher ice cream from venezia
its called TARTUFO
pardon me ann. but its sounds like tar toufu.
haha. anw i prefer the choc to tartufo
and ultimately i love haagen daz choc choc chip.
and low if u see this, pls rmb that i have a $10 haagen daz voucher i just received today.

and the stupid nel was jianing fei and refused to eat the ice cream with us.
stupid.
gu yi making us fat.
slaps u.

anw u stupid boy. pls get back the money i owed u
or else!!!

but i do love your present too!
which is totally unexpected as well.
haha.
and don need to feel guilty -.-
give present doesn't mean i expect any de.
i can give u i happy liaox mugger lover. hahah =P
and i will use the pooh cup u give me!
and tks for the candy cane and the cute flower!
hahah. love the silly flower!

if only.
*hints to low*
- argh. hes not here now! :( -

2006-12-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

life
like a rose.
so easily bent
and.. lost.

my neighbour (32 year old guy) met with a motorcycle accident on monday.. and was pronounced dead this afternoon at 1pm.
was on the Straits Times.
Struck me... how little space they dedicate to him.
and that is what it is to any other person...
just another news paper report.
whats left is the
the pain and the suffering by the family left behind...

makes me think.. what kind of imprint that i have left behind on the lives of others?
haha probably not much.
im not a sociable person.

but really.
life is so short.
while u're still on earth, cherish it.. and the people ard u
show them u love them still.

meanwhile.
look towards eternal life.
and hang on.
do not be swayed by Men's Superstitions, Rituals and Lies.

and goodbye my faithful 7610 phone.
and sorry for abusing you so much!

2006-12-05T21:56:00.000+08:00

From Rick Warren's The purpose driven life

Day 16:
The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you. If you want to know a person's priorities, just look at how they use their time. Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money but you can't make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. "My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love which shows itself in action"
Relationships take time and effort and the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E"

The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. it is FOCUSED ATTENTION. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says "I value you enough to give you my most precious asset - my time" Whenever you give your time your all, you are making a sacrifice and sacrifice is the essence of love. Love means giving up, yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else. - and it doesn't necessarily have to be your partner only.

2006-12-02T01:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think i expect too much. definitely. but of course. the expectations come from love. the closer u are to the person, the more expectations you have of a person. after all u won expect much from acquaintance or a stranger or a friend you aren't that close to. and similarly, prolly thats why i think some people put effort into doing things or changing things ... because it would please another. but i think love is supposed to bring it to a higher level? whether its romantic love, family love or what... there is a sacrificial element. i don believe theres love without sacrifice. a sacrifice that you are willing to make. not something ppl force u into to do.. e.g. i buy things and make time for my niece because i love her and i would not do it easily for other ppl. and then there are the every decisions we make to see if this person is really on our minds. sometimes its really not what you do or what you don't do. its what you never even think of doing and would never ever even sacrifice or change.

but i realise having too many these types of unconscious expectations can be really tiring and disappointing. but no fear. the heart has a natural mechanism to protect itself. i see my heart as being protected by this trampoline. initially this trampoline is really thin. so whenever a disappointment weigh upon it, it will hit the heart and cause it pain. however i realise that this trampoline gets thicker with time. somehow i think these days (normal days without stress) these disappointments barely hits the heart. maybe its because you have "broken all my expectations" its really hard to expect anything. if anything, i expect the worst. guess this is just preparing me. emotionally. but anyway it may be bcoz of the deduction (expectations = love)

cool thing is that there is a different trampoline for everyone. but the starting thickness differs =)

oh wells =)

2006-11-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

actually don need to worry about me i think.
haha. i am moody too much. but i get emotionally well fast as well. -esp after exams- thinks its just all the stress.. haha not able to breathe till thursday!

anw i din manage to sleep again last nite. i wonder why zzz ... nervous bout today's fa i suppose (which i had one big mistake but hope its not too bad.)
there was one weird dream i didn't mention. think its on.. sunday.. napping aft church. um i dreamt that i was going home.. (the home seems to be my childhood home) w low.. and then i saw pearlyn who says that its wenqing's birthday and asks us to come along to celebrate.. and ops i forgot it was her bday in the dream. wenqing seems to be living a block behind me and anw pearlyn ran off first.. but as me and low were trying to find wenqing's house... it seems as if we went into the wrong block.. coz we can't find the unit. and yet i could hear the voices coming from wenqing's house. esp cliff's voice. so loud. i could imagine cliff giving wenqing some big present. haha. i think i miss u guys too much too.

2006-11-27T19:31:00.000+08:00

2006-11-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

i think God gave me so many disappointments so as to remind me not to have too much attachment to anything or anyone in this world. because we as christians are just being prepared for our real home in eternity. somehow, this just makes me think.. and gave me strength to let go of things i thought i am not so able to let go of. and thanks ann. for being eternally here. but anw. can i have an appointment w u in the hols?

2006-11-22T11:53:00.000+08:00

Ha!

2006-11-12T14:58:00.000+08:00

there just never seems a moment that i can be truly relaxed.
last few weeks have been crazy.
so tightly strung i am.. i've been like crying every day.
and it doesn't seem as if the next few weeks will be better.
seriously. i hate smu.

and i realise its really hard for me to truly trust and rely on ANYONE 100% now. perhaps except my family. and my baby niece. and more nieces to come. I've yet to be able to truly trust God tho i really want to. but life just seems to tear me apart from Him. now i know why ppl say... last time that they don't really want to grow up. u face issues.. u never thought u had to think about.

plus disappointment is something i've never been truly able to bear. and maybe im just not meant to be attached. im just so tired.
so tired of everything.
i am.

2006-10-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

thank god!
haha.. i passed by driving test!
and i've got my P plate!

haha ... good traffic conditions, good tester... i've got everything i need.. so
Thank GOD!
and of cos the many friends who gave me support! :)

=)

2006-10-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

*forwarded msg*

2006-10-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

i dunno if u're reading this
but somehow im thinking of u huizhen!
:)
i hope u're having a good time in warwick.. and do take care!

2006-10-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

Why - Full House

sa-ra-ngeul chal mo-reu-ge-seo i-reo-ke ta-ka-ol chul nan mol-rat-seo
nae-mam Cho-cha-do sa-rang a-peo-seon nae ddeut-dae-ro an-dwae

i-reol-chul a-rat-teo-ra-myeon cheom-boo-teo shi-ja-ka-ji-do an-nat-seo
pa-bo-cheo-reom i-je-wa-seo-ya nan dwi-neu-jeon hoo-hwei-reul ha-go it-seo

ni-ka sa-ra-ngi dwei-ji an-ki-reul pi-reot-seo
neo-ma-neun cheol-dae-ro a-ni-ki-reul pi-reot-seo

neo sa-ra-ngi a-nil-kkeo-ra-ko soo-do eob-shi na-reul sook-yeo-wat-seo
cham-si seu-cheo-ka-neun i-neo-ni-kil pa-raet-seo

a-peun sa-cheo-man nae-ge nam-gyeo=chil te-ni-ka
ha-ji-man al-myeon-seo-do neo-ei mo-deun keo-si
yook-shi-mi-na cha-goo seul-peo-syeo

chal-mo-dwei si-ja-ki-ra-ko keu-reo-ke swim-ge saeng-ka-hat-seos-neun-de
eon-je-neun peo-ril so it-seul-deo-ra-do nan mi-deot-seot-neun-de

eo-ddeo-ke nan hae-ya-halji eo-di-seo-bu-teo-ka chal-mot-dwen-keon-ji
ni sa-ra-ngeul pi-hae-ya-ha-neun-de
ni mo-deun-ke neo-moo keu-ri-weo-jyeo

ni-ka sa-ra-ngi dwei-ji an-ki-reul pi-reot-seo
neo-ma-neun cheol-dae-ro a-ni-ki-reul pi-reot-seo

neon sa-ra-ngi a-nil-ge-ra-ko soo-do eob-si
na-reul sook-yeo=wat-seo cham-si seu-chyeo-gi-neun i-nyeo-ni-gil pa-raet-seo

a-peun sa-cheo-man nae-ge nam-gyeo-shil te-ni-ka
ha-ji-man al-myeon-seo-do neo-ei mo-deun keot-si yook-shi-mi-na

i-jen neo a-ni-myeon a-moo ei-mi eob-neun-de
i-je na-do na-reul eo-jeol-soo-ka eob-neun-de

neo-reul ji-wi-ya-man han-da-neun sa-sil-deu-ri
o-neul-do nan deo him-deul-ge hae

Why

I don’t really know love
I didn’t know it’d come like this

I can’t seem to control my heart when it comes to love
I wouldn’t have started if I knew it’d be like this

Now that it’s too late to turn back, I’m having regrets
I hoped you wouldn’t be love
I hoped that you wouldn’t be my love

I told myself I didn’t love you
I hoped we were just passing acquaintances
Because all I’ll have left is pain
But even so, I want you
It’s making me sad

A wrong start.
That’s all I saw it as

I believed I could let you go any time
I don’t know what went wrong

I have to avoid your love
But I long for you

I hoped you wouldn’t be love
I hoped that you wouldn’t be my love

I told myself I didn’t love you
I hoped we were just passing acquaintances
Because all I’ll have left is pain
But even so, I want you
It’s making me sad

Now I’m nothing without you
I can’t do anything about it
Knowing that I must erase you...

Makes my life harder

2006-10-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

ESFJ - THE CAREGIVER (THE PROVIDER)

BRIEF OVERVIEW

ESFJs are outgoing, sociable, practical and organized. They pride themselves on their reflexive skills to harmonize, entertain and nurture others. Duty, personal service, manners and social order come second-nature to this type. Warm, friendly and naturally talented at working with others and organizing people and events, ESFJs make excellent salespeople, health care providers, teachers, homemakers and hosts. They work well as club and committee members, and their type numbers conspicuously among volunteer, church, charitable, social and civic organizations. Traditional, conservative and loyal, ESFJs work hard, devoting their time and energy to family and friends. This caring type has little tolerance for those whose actions or omissions hurt others' feelings, and they may let the offender know! Although ESFJs derive personal satisfaction from helping others, they need verbal and tangible strokes of appreciation for their good work. When they do not receive the kind of recognition and reciprocation they feel is due, ESFJs may suffer attacks of righteous indignation.

EXPLANATION BASED ON THE RESEARCH OF CARL JUNG, KATHARINE C. BRIGGS AND ISABEL BRIGGS MYERS ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

EXPLANATION BY JOE BUTT

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

2006-10-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

Why people fall in love?

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it
happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why
some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and
causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out
of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of
the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body,
love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions
and commonalities that two people share. And just as life
itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the
coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that
cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of
love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and
celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we
all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you,
celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try to
grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a
gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of
love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,
they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather
than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They
want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other
person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change,
thinking that if some small things were different, love would
bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if
they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But
there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they
accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to
treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in
love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with
yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't
choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't
love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your
door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not
take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love
is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same
pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to
assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a
meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All
you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it
comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it
poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
without love, they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and
they begin to look at love as something that flows to them
rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
become someone who seeks love. They forget that the
secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to
grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its
own season, its own reason for coming and going. You
cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can
only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or
from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and
there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and
always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE
FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

If you keep you heart open, it will come again...

- zz sometimes i hate u

2006-10-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

lol. a funny youtube on Male Toilet hygiene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

2006-10-08T12:45:00.000+08:00

somehow MAF was quite disappointing.
doesn't seem to have the usual atmosphere that makes hc ppl come tgt as one..
maybe its cos we were late.. :p gotta buy the candy rings for my project group for the video
maybe its coz we're out of the school liaox... as i took the bus back to sch i was just thinking.. hey its been such a long time since i came back.. things seem to have changed - there was one Mad Dog shop at Crown Centre or sth lidat.. haha.
or maybe its just tt the event just wasn't organized as well as last year.. or maybe coz last year was more emotional w the exams coming and us really contemplating to go to different unis.

oh well.
things certainly have changed.
though some things haven't.
like the crazy diyang saying farnie stuff we never seem to understand
like the fountain they have every year
like saggy whom i heard is as saggy as ever..
and of course my 11+ curfew. ops can't join the class for dinner coz of tt. but then thats not anything special either. hope had funs =)

2006-10-08T12:42:00.000+08:00

if only this was invented earlier... i think physics would be a lot more interesting :)
http://blog.sc.tri-bit.com/archives/188

Tips on love by children :)

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me awife.” (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE:

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’’s why perfume and deoderantare so popular.” (Jan, 9)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.”

(Roger, 9)

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE:

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8 )

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me, I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:

“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8 )

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘’The Simpsons’ is on television.” (Anita, 6)

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8 )

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8 )

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me.” (Bart, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”

“The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (michelle,9)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy,8 )

2006-10-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

Full House.
=)

2006-10-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

http://www.outpostnine.com/stories/fragile.html

and some more great stories at http://www.outpostnine.com/
those that manage to suck u in..

anyway. i screwed up the FA test i was so jittery about and seems as if im one of the few who truly screwed up. pretty stressed bout that. but tks to God - i can truly feel a sense of peace (albeit only today after i went church :P). but tks anyway. and of cos thanks Low and cherie n everyone else who tolerated my frustrations and tears. of cos the tears were reserved for low. hes truly privileged. haha. i think its pms as well. as in not the lover nelson marcus lide pms.. but the other one. haha.

and go vote for EIC! tho i cant find the link

2006-09-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

ok my last post gone coz blogger sux.

anw
1. i din get into smif but its good or else it will stress me out until i die
2. i don have courage to go ask for bp prize coz i don wanna seem so gian peng
3. i feel a bit anti-social coz i don like to go for many ccas e.g. asoc and bondue
4. oh i feel like q dumb coz i just knew that claire ho is ho peng kee's daughter
5. i feel so stressed i feel like crying screaming and everything.. not just coz of fa quiz but everything thats gonna come up after that as well. feel as if i can just die at everything. zzzz. lucky got low to td and talk rubbish w but even then my stress isn't busted. hope low comes smu soon. :(

2006-09-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

okay. im glad there are still ppl talking to me here! yeah!

here goes.
i din get in the SMIF thingy.. but im not tt sad either coz.. it would have resulted me in having a lot of stress... which would just make me die. not really a sour grapes thing but i think i won b able to cope.
and im sad i don have the courage to go claim the stoopid bp prize.. :P although i did email them and i didn't get a response. shd i be so gian peng? sigh.. can only console myself it wouldn't be much of anything anw.
but worse.. im feeling stressed like shit. just coz of an fa quiz on fri? maybe.. mayb not. there just seems to be a mountain of things that i havent done and the feeling is shitty u noe. so many burden on u. sucks. and i actually forgot my own locker no. today so i din get to go gym since my gym stuff is in the locker. but wth.. i have decided to stop gyming until after the term is over.. which is in say Dec? hope i won get too fat before then.

sometimes i feel like crying. screaming the burden out. just pms perhaps? glad to hav low to td with and talk rubbish with but even then my stress isn't busted. ARGH.
i hate school.

2006-09-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

ooo its interesting.. and of coz nice to noe tt there r ppl who read ur blog. =)
esp now that i find tt i myself don really have the time to do tht liaox.. (read my own blog. write. n read others' blogs) sighs. sry for bitching so much sometimes. and tks for all the concern =)

1. don need to worry so much bout me n low. we're usually alright. after a while. somehow i just like to make a mountain out of a molehill some times. and im glad sometimes tt he doesn't care. haha. or else we wouldn't haf been tgt 4 so long. demanding me =)
2. indeed smu is full of stuff... but im starting to dread going to sch and dreading all the muggin! argh. so many projects. and stuff going on. i don like.
3. shit. theres SMU-SMIF interview tmr. SMIF stands for Student Managed Investment Fund. started last year.. with real professionals out there guiding the cca.. only select a few ppl inside.. basically is to do paper trading (as in not real one.. but simulated trading) so as to establish a good track record for fund management so that we can convince the sch to give us $1 Mil to manage! cool huh! i really wanna learn more bout stock market.. and it is a kewl place to start! but its shit coz i hate interviews u know... and im Fan-ing about what happens if i get in and if i dont. how ma fan i am :) - sigh.. this will require lotsa commitment and stuff tho.. but i think in the end it will be worth it!
4. did i say i was still wondering if i should join air rifle? coz it clashes with EYE investment club.. another investment club.. and its 5-7 pm on fri so it affects going out tiem with low. = nada going out on friday. but i did shoot q well esp for a super beginner.. haha.. so yups. but 1. i don wanna train my arm untl big big. 2. i wanna go out fri.
5. oh i um actually guessed the no. of mentos correctly during vivace at the BP Mentoring booth. but um i wonder if i gotta go to their meeting to get the prize which is i duno wad issit? (don tell me its a big mentos coz i'll just faint)

ARGH. i hate feeling stressed and busy and falling behind in school...

Your Palm has spoken

2006-09-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

http://www.listentoyourpalm.net/site/en/spot/page.jsp?title=listen_palm_main

Life: Long line you are in it for the long haul. also with this line, the more swerve in its curve, the more hustle in your muscle

Love: long and steady. So what's it like having your personal cupid's arrow shooting across your palm?

Heart: Separate from the life line. When they said mind the gap, there were talking about your angle of luck. the greater the gap the greater the luck. remember 3664

okay. how silly.
and do u know Crocodile Hunter died?? =(

The Devil Wears prada

2006-09-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

The devil wears prada... somehow i think the title does the show injustice by making it sound bimboish and just a lil naughty. but hey.. its a great show with a terrific meaning behind it... a simple story really. but i was captivated with every moment of it. and that was even though i had terra chips in my hand. (its as nice as ever :) )
maybe its the glamour of the fashion world and the never ending beautiful dresses the beautiful Andrea get to wear.. or maybe its just the transformation of a normal girl with a normal life that intrigues.

i just love that show.
its been some time since i enjoyed a show that much.
(except for cars of coz)

milk

2006-09-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

2006-08-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

one can cry and cry ...
until the heart is hardened..
and even though tears continue to fall,
the heart is not truly moved.

2006-08-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder why we're still together.

you don't care who im with, whether im spending time with you, whether im talking even though we're on the fone... not even when i told you im starting to feel less. everything seems to be a joke. laugh about it and forget.
sometimes im so sick of crying coz i know you can carry on ur dota game just fine and then snap at me... "its not my fault" ... but then again i am unreasonable. i know. so now i don even bother to tell u.
the thing is im so tired sometimes.. u know?

i wonder. where is the warmth i used to feel. the special feeling we're supposed to share.
Faded. Jaded.

and the best part?
i don't think you're gonna read this.

2006-08-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

school has started and everything seems to be so busifying.
haha. busy busy.
1st week especially hectic with me and my mum juggling the kids all day and night (so there weren't good nights to sleep in) plus first days of school and introductions.
but i managed to get my gym work in... at least more than i intended for this week.. which is nada.

Mugging has started officially because there are discussion questions to be done every week and you WILL fall behind if you don't do them. but sometimes class participation can be quite scary. especially with pro profs. but classes are generally quite okays n interesting.. and im listening a lot more as compared to last time.. in jc e.g.

but the bad things:
1. i seem to be falling behind in friendships again coz i don see a lot of ann, og peeps (oh but at least i got to blade my ass off with them on saturday! :P and then there was vivace), 69 peeps (haven seen them for some time.. saw them on saturday but yar.. seem to be more distant w the girls.. no? different sch different lives i suppose)
2. i don REALLY have time for low and its q sad. coz i wanna have more. hahaha.. but at least now he can go home every day tho.. hes tired every day too and i feel so bad for that poor boy. and i don think i have time to see him on weekdays either so its like no extra time.
3. i want to see more of Baby (Seles) who was born last week.. did i mention that? :P but i don really have time. or rather i don wanna feel like im wasting time. but i shall wake up early tmr to carry her.
4. Muggin! omg la. theres so much to be done. its affecting my enjoyment level of talk time and dota time and family time and everything.

going for SMU Christian Fellowship tmr.. hope it'll be fuN! but it clashes with Toastmasters.
going for SMU Freshmen Bash on thurs nite... its so not me. hahah. but my og is gg. and hope tht low will go too.
going for EYE investment workshop/camp on sat morn... sounds a lil boring but i wanna learn more about investments... gonna leave early for...
Child @ Street 11.. trainin on how to build sandcastles! it may sound retardee retardo to some ppl but i think its gonna be fun and not everybody know how to build sandcastles.. at least i don remember building one myself :) ...
which means im not gonna have much time for low on sat nite.. which i wanna go for...
COMEX.. to buy my laptop case.

sounds like a packed week.
and i dun like being squeezed.
and then there are the driving lessons...
and my monthly friend.

2006-08-20T11:21:00.000+08:00

Set your eyes on things above but not things on earth.

Colossian 3:3-7
Believe in Christ and that He lost his life so that we can gain ours... and that our souls are safely locked away with Christ in God.
But beyond that... move closer to God by becoming the kind of person we ought to be.. like Christ. and not be under Satan's Bondage.. indulging in sin. Satan works on us mostly on two things:
1. Sexuality: Lust, impurity of mind, immorality (having sexual relationships outside of the marriage covenant. includes BOTH Premarital Sex and Adultery. because Sex is something precious only to be shared with your spouse. coz love.. is large overrated.) and self-fulfillment and all those weird fetishes.. including homo coz homo is not natural.. not what God intends us to be.
- Why Sexuality is so important... coz it is part of who we are... our femaleness.. our maleness. Destroy the sanctity of it.. and destroy the foundation of all of family. Wrong values get passed down and its a vicious cycle for our kids.
2. Idolatry/Greed/Covetousness: We lose sight of God when we are immersed in the road to make money. Know that He will take care of you, of your monetary and all your other needs. and Do not worry. or do more than what you ought to do. coz u are provided by Him.

2006-08-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

today is convocation.
tis quite cool really.
although it doesn't really look good... white shirt w black skirt... it generally looks quite good when lotsa ppl are wearing it. my og keeps taking pics today.. to make up for the lack of camera during camp which must be dex's fault. :P
met at subway first.. and met Jessica for the first time. shes q chio really :) the sporty girl type of chio. and very open and fun kinda person. but generally we had fun taking pics and all da way till suntec... where dex was late and thomas wore a shirt with pink/purple stripes and we educated him about the gayness of the colours. nevertheless we took lots of pics.. weird poses and alls. denz dex came along and finally reenee too. poor girl. she lost her cam on the taxi and couldn't find it back. but i enjoyed her sitting beside me. muahaha. shes so pretty. shall post some og pics when i get dem.. and u'llknow wad i mean.

okays firstly the hall is really cold esp coz we were sitting there not moving. its like freeezing. anw the convo was divided into 2 sections.. formal informal. twas cute seeing the chancellor holding da mace. i think it was the cutest part of the procession. and Dr Howard's speech was the most personal.. and perhaps most interesting of all the speeches. oh but yar. there was this segment where they showed all the awards and scholarship winners... the matric fotos and it was SUPER EMBARRASSING coz they took the matric foto and MINE WAS LIKE SHIT. ppl ask me if my head was wai diaox. quite embarassing when ppl can actually recognise u. but yar.

den we had a break where we girls went out to kope food. omg la. i cant believe we did wad we did coz shieh yuan started to steal the food from reception.. as in using our bare hands. and so we all did. but when she tried to take a puff at the end.. a woman looked at her so incredulously.. we all luffed like shit. DAMN EMBARRASSING LA.

ANW the informal session. we went out for toilet sometime after it started to take pics and go toilet. the toilet was q nice and big and had mirrors so its conducive for taking pics. the informal one gets a bit boring after a while... with all the jazz singing but the hey bi hiam (band) spiced it up.. and our og started the snake thing and going in circles and all... dancing.. blabla. it was all quite fun :) without being so cool we all get alienated

I LOVE J51!

haha.. but sry i gotta leave so soon after tt.. (so many ppl left.. its a bit hard for the rest to go off for an outing.. paisehZ.. even tho u all won see this. ha!)

and SORRY ANN I DIDN'T GO FIND U ANd SHOW OFF OUR IDENTICAL SHOES.

hallu choc

2006-08-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

THE HAGUE :
Police at Amsterdam's Schiphol airport on Thursday released a
warning for hallucinogenic dark chocolate bars after a homeless man ate one and
confused their uniforms with wedding dresses.
Tests showed the 72 percent cocoa dark chocolate contained psilocine, a
mind-altering substance found in hallucinogenic mushrooms and considered to be a
hard drug.

noddy

2006-08-18T10:47:00.000+08:00

Noddy:
I like
My Car
it takes
me far.

SMU

2006-08-18T10:00:00.000+08:00

somehow i woke up with the feeling that.
I Love SMU!
its really not about the supernice building or the fact that its near to my house.. and town.
nor how hip it is. (come ons. im nots a hips person! and this point is actually off la)
or the many many chio girls or considerably better guys. (i mean... i cant really talk to the chio/shuai ppl coz they are way too cool for me. down-to-earth crazy ppl r for me!)
i think its most coz God have designated me to be there! i mean... He brought me the scholarship, He brought me Ann (myBESTESTfWeNZ), OG J51 (gr8 camp and way NICE ppl to joke ard with) and allowed me to pass the stats waiver. theres nbd like Him. what i learnt is... TRY not to expect too much. Rely on Him and Trust that he will make it all OKAY... it doesn't matter if i had failed the waiver or anything... i know that this is the route he chose for me... and I shall walk it with Him. so Im not worrying about the fwenz coz i believe that he will bring me the ones who will really matter to me!
and im SRY for all my transgressions like not joining a CG, being wicked :P, not gg church last few times, bein emo.

Thank You, God.

2006-08-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

The most exciting thing bout yday is prolly the class schedule.

Class Schedule:

COMM 101 - Communication: Competencies and Strategies

G14

LKCSB Seminar Rm 3.7

Mon

08:30

11:45

LGST 101 - Business Law

LKCSB Seminar Rm 3.10

Tue

15:30

18:45

ACCT 103 - Financial Accounting

SOA Seminar Rm 3.5

Wed

08:30

11:45

MGMT 001 - Leadership and Team Building

LKCSB Class Rm 3.2

Fri

12:00

15:15

im not planning to bid for more so for now, i'll have thursdays free.

the bad thing is... i dunno anyone who has the same block as me.. (Blk A) but its okay. personally i prefer this blog.. though it has heavier workload. i don have to choose more modules.

Next:
- Driving today as usual. I learn how to park.. using an easier technique so although there were times the car hit the metal thingy it didn't fall.
- Gym was fun. im glad n proud =P tt i burnt 600 cal
- Child @ St 11 briefing: the video done by eric khoo was really q touching. and i want to make a difference in these kids' lives! even if they meant sacrificing my saturdays.
- went to the doc w my sis and realise my niece is bout 4.0 kg liaox which is supers big. so she prolly has to go caesarean again.

And.
Think our lives is really very different now. its difficult for either to understand or do anything bout it. just leave it to God i suppose. but yes, its really the first few times i think i can really live without. and i suppose. he has always been able to do it too. so.. hello goodbye?

sians.

Find A Way

2006-08-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

Find a way
- Plain Sunset

Do you know that I still think about you?

Even though I know that it's too late.

Do you know that I'm still missing you?

Especially right now you're far away.

There's no need to for you to tell me that; "I'm sorry",

There's no need for you to tell me that I'm sorry,

I said I'm sorry, I said I'm sorry...

Chorus;

I've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind

I've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking of you

I've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind

I've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking...

2006-08-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

junwei was telling me on the bus home...
a girl may break up with you not only because theres a third party.
but also because her expectations has changed... she has changed.. and so has the guy.

im currently in the Low period. as in emo low. heart sometimes in conflict with things ive just learnt and experienced. and its jus not a nice feeling. though sometimes. i know i ask for too much.

not happy w my mum oso.

im feel so juvenile u know. having to argue w my mum to go out. thinking abt relationship stuff. i mean when can i grow up.

and btw gym was fun w ann. as usual. just tt feel a bit weirds w daniel n joseph ard. sigh. small-boy charms. cute. but yar.

and i was told i missed the sunday times. low just had to wait till today to tell me. so sad.

2006-08-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

Everything Changes
-Staind

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close,
The devil in you I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal.

[Chorus:]
But everything changes
If I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel,

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real.

[Chorus]

When it's just me and you.
Who knows what we could do.
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day.

[Chorus]

Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word.

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?.
It wouldn't change how you feel.

back to the real world

2006-08-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

While I was out at camp... stuff happened!
i mean. that shouldn't sound so miraculous. but yup.

1. my 3rd sis is like pregnant again. means all my sisters are pregnant as of now. haha feeling a bit sad i cant be sharing this experience w them but no worries. i believe i'll have 4 mothers coaching me when its my turn.
2. my eldest sister giving birth soon.. like in the next 2 weeks.
3. i miss ann :)
4. my body ach all over. but its not so bad .. gradually.
5.
6.
7.
9.
10.

shd have more. i just cant think.

Camp

2006-08-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

Finally had some time to sit down. relax. and think about what happened for the past few days.
Except for the campfire, FTB was quite fun i guess. Certainly tiring. but most importantly, a great learning experience.
I'd like to think that I've changed after the camp. somehow.. i really think so. not so much of what we did during the camp... but more of the thinking.

Day 1: Getting to know each other
Was the first one in my OG to meet. and like certainly the first few ppl to reach there. somehow i was buzzing with energy.. walking ard to meet n talk to ppl frm other OGs. a few familiar faces. sat ard w other girls frm other ogs until some ppl frm our og came. started to talk w ppl frm my og and be my crazy self (that is like a contradiction coz my real self is not so crazy :P) and did brief intros. still quite high but all the enthusiasm died down once i got into the bus. den the low extended almost until the entire day. until theres any activity i gotta do. if not, i will just keep silent. and somehow i cant really break out of that mood. been catching myself like this before liaox. but yar. emo highs and lows can screw me up sometimes. but yups. after activities like nitro crossing, mystic river and stuff tho, i felt lil better. dexter (my faci) was great on debriefs. i know some ppl don really like those but i do. coz i feel like verbalising my thoughts make me think. instead of going through all the activities without understanding the meaning behind them. coz reflections are times when i believe that ppl really learn. but yup the activities challenge me to push thru certain psychological barriers.. not to be scared about certain physical stuff and instead learn to encourage others on. and actually, it helps. helps to repeat something. over and over. "you can do it!" and sometimes.. just sometimes, it makes it easier for us to remember. i am glad for this strength. that i realised different ppl and situations have instilled.
the night activities was um a bit lames tho. and our og cruised thru them.. i was really sorry that i wasn't scared by the haunted house and instead just kept saying sorry to them that im not scared. but yup. thanks for the great effort.

but OUR OG night activity was more fun. we stayed up until bout 1+ only.. but we played silly games like zhong ji mi ma and stuff. was so exciting to see melvin and jeremy kiss each other (on the lips some more!) even if its for a short moment.. tt i begin to wonder if i have some watch-gays fetish. ha. but melvin really lucky/unlucky. got forfeits 3 times in a row and gets to dance w mei ying as wells. super sporting super ons.. mel. our Melvin jiejie :P haha really great to have him in our og.

My complaints:
1. There was no toilet roll! OMG. not tt im very big on hygiene but at least provide some toilet rolls.. or ask us to bring ourselveS? :P
2. The floor is damn hard and we were sitting for so long for all the debriefs my butt hurts. like so badly.
3. The floor was damn hard and i wasn't tired enough on the first day so i couldn't sleep.
4. i love watching the planes. but sometimes the noises they make can be annoying.

Day 2: the low morale
So lil sleep and yet had to wake up so early. my mood wasn't at its best. but still okay. started with the maze. Those could see couldnt talk but those who could talk couldn't see. somehow we were q slow tho we were strongly held tgt. had some good starts. then we reached this soccer station tt we had to wait so we decided to move to another station. douglas asked dexter something and dex muted him. and blindfolded him. so like. die. since i was behind him i switched places w him and with my direction sense so lousy.. i led ppl to wrong places and all. wasted so much time i almost wanted to die. and dexter didn't help and just shake his head at me. i was like so helpless. esp w everybody who could talk asking me wats gg on. sigh. but finally led them to the next station. and we had to wait for another group to finish the station. anw while we were waiting douglas gave a great shoulder massage. it was like so nice. haha i almost wanted to ask for more but just shyed from doing that. haven received such a power massage for so long. but helped to relax me awhile. later decided to ask jeremy to be the first person leading instead and i changed place w him. anw we were stuck at our final station later on. but it was then that douglas finally couldn't tolerate it anymore coz he had a v bad headache since he woke up. and he left for the bunk 2 rest. worried for that silly boy coz he really looked very bad. but it was after the witch doctor's challenge that dex told us he had high fever. anw reenee (oh shes this really nice and chio girl frm philippines.. but she looks caucasian coz her father is caucasian.. n shes like my good fren) had to leave to see the dean. so yups morale was lil low during witch doctor's challenge n kayaking. frenzy had an interesting ending that i wouldn't think of.. while tug of war is tiring and violent :P but sth new as well.. tower made of human feet.. i was like lifted so many times (oh i realised this is like the thing ppl always do during this camp.. lift girls up :P i was lifted up like so many times.. and i feel sorry for the ppl who lift me up coz im like damn heavy. but somehow after the camp i miss the silly feeling of being lifted up :P) and then there was the barrel challenge in which i screamed like i was in labour. and everybody laughed at me after that. but super dirty and sandy after the entire thing was over.. so it was a great time for kayaking. had an okay time kayaking.. could have enjoyed more.. but gotta paddle fast. tired. but qiangyu did most of the work sometimes so that i could rest and that was really nice of him. but the highlight was the Activity (Dex said everything was an activity and not just a game coz its serious n we gotta learn from em) .. changing positions in the kayaks. melvin and peiqi fell into the water when we tried it the second time but if not all went all. but i got q a lot of cuts from the activity. but it was nice in a kayak... it feels as if its just u and ur partner in the sea and in the sun.. against the wind. the feeling's great. tho not the feeling of being dirty.
washed up and prepared to go for campfire.. which was q pitiful esp when i think of hc MAF and makes me appreciate the effort put in by the councillors :) [oh yes i wanna go back MAF so ppl i hope u all tell me when u all gg back. and WHEN IS MAF!] a super small fireball... and campfire at the extreme left? who'd be excited? i didn't pay attention to the skits and cheers and all. but the dancing part was q fun. seems as if a lot of smu ppl go clubbing and i feel so deprived. so sad i cannot go. tho melvin said i prolly shd slip in and out on ladies night. but i wonder who can go w me to slip in and out :P anw the dancing was q fun esp when everyone was dancing YMCA.. that was the ultimate high. and i so wanna learn how to dance! but had great fun :). but gotta plan for rafts and the Final challenge which ended q late that night. so fell on the floor and slept right away.

Day 3: The Final Challenge
Its difficult to describe the entire thing except that it was q fun and everybody was like running and all. and we got first for first activity. and ppl were laughing at me coz i walked across the detergent thing standing up and i wasnt supposed to do it and supposedly i look funny. but i rmbed... shieh yuen telling me to be quieter coz i was screaming too loud and that somehow shocked me into silence for very very long. so yup gotta learn. not to be too excited. what i knew was that everybody tried their best and all. anw at certain times i was annoyed.. something i didn't really say or show.. when certain ppl were too confident and arrogant about their ideas.. but i must admit that these ideas work. and i really should oso overcome my own arrogance and pessimism that they won't. lots of things i gotta learn to control. anw. i had great fun. and felt relieved when the final challenge ended. but really felt q sad when we had to go.. tho its a short 2.5 days.. so many stuff packed in these few days that i cant help being affected. sorta miss the ppl now that im back home. and the many activities we had.

To say the truth, i didn't meet someone i could consider like my very good friend during the camp. more of like acquaintances that i would hi bye and maybe go out once in a long long while. sometimes i hate myself for that.. the zhong se qing you side of me.. and the not so easily let ppl into my inner circle side of me. but its really difficult.. i find. to change my habits.

anyhow. though they will not see this, i just wanted to say thank u everyone for being part of J51. dex coz hes been a great faci and hes so mature and all, he changes my idea of guys our age and even tho i don like him as in romantically :P, he changes my idea of the kinda person i would like. haha. silly thought i know. a nice guy is not enough liao. a person who can challenge me to think and argue w me. haha. oh wells. but anyhow yup gotta thank him for making me think in this camp. theres douglas melvin qiangyu thomas junwei all of whom were great during the camp.. in adding much guy fun and jokes. the girls shieh yuen peiqi reenee mun.. great for sticking ard with and shieh yuen for being so crazy and fun. :)

really learn a lot. or at least i felt so.
so thankful ive got J51.
thanks guys n gals :)

Best and most beautiful

2006-08-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

2006-08-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

FINALLY finished the stats waiver test. i just hate the feeling of having tests and studying for them. but Yar. can just hope for the best and that God will grant me favour to waive my stats. though i wonder if its a good thing or not. He will decide for me since i cant do it myself.

There are many types of people going for this test. ppl who're going for fun and haven really studied. ppl who really hope to pass this. the geniuses. blah. didn't expect q a lot of girls who dress wells aka look a bit like bim types to be there.. but saw a few. Just outside the seminar room, i sorta initiated a convo w a looks-nice-and-okay girl named Nicole. From NUS.. transferred to SMU and taking the same courses as me :). cool. must be a big change for her. but yups didn't really talk much.. more of a hi-bye-hows-school sorta acquaintances. think i'll have a lot more such occurrences.

Zipped in and out of gym.. or sort of. Ran 30 min before bathing express and rushed to gombak mrt for driving. No good. i was late by bout 10 min. and i just don feel good driving. i must be real lousy.

and just started packing stuff for camp. i wonder how its like and if Ann is enjoying it now. :)

Orientation

2006-08-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

Uni is a phase we enter.. that scares the socks out of most of us.. i guess.
there are so many new stuff to get used to
responsibilities that we have to start to take
now i know why people always say that its the most carefree being a child.

Its amazing ...
how we change and how people around us change.
news thats shocking but not so shocking after a while.
but im still reeling over it..

Im just glad to have Ann around.
SMU Gym was funs :) and so was just being with her.

And then there are the people whom we pick up gradually as friends.
Rachel Regina Dawn blah.

After a while all these will seem inconsequential as we forget our reservations and settle in.
So many things to do.. to immerse in.
i just hope tt i don lose myself (i doubt it..) continue to work hard and learn to trust God for he will lead us to the path where we are meant to go.
And then there's Low.

Sigh.

Crush Mandy Moore

2006-08-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

For Ann.. ;) u shd listen to this song. and let jos listen 2 =P

Crush - Mandy Moore

You know everything that I'm afraid of
You do everything i wish i did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know i should tell you how i fell
I wish everyone would disappear
Every time time you call me, I'm too scared to be me

And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

You know, I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me thing that i don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that i do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you

Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows
I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush

You say everything that no one says
But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you
I've got a crush...

2006-08-02T16:57:00.000+08:00

suddenly i feel like starting anew.
as i step into new waters.
i hope that i'll change too... for the best.