I want you to colour my days, but more
I want to occupy your thoughts
Every one of the days
For days are just moments with-in or with-out
Sometimes I really gotta wonder.
Should I change who I am because of the people who don't know me?
or maybe i've changed a bit already.
contributing to class discussion now becomes my crime
is it being considerate worth it? if that is really consideration.
anyway. death seems to surround me these days.
my grandma passed away.
peacefully in a stroke - died within hours of sending her to hospital
am i sad? sort of. though i wasn't very close to her.
but at least she didn't suffer.
* * *
Thursday, January 04, 2007
When you say “I have lots of friends” or “I have a lot of connections”, did it ever occur to you what is the reason you have so many connections? Why do those people keep contact with you?
I wanted to find out and I did an experiment: for two months, I did not call anybody (except my family, as they would not understand such experiments) and I waited to see how many of them would call me, just to see how I am, just to say “hello, I wanted to hear your voice”. During the experiment, I was not employed and I did not start any major project that may have attracted people to participate.
With nothing to offer and hidden in my house, I had a very big surprise: during the two months, only two persons called me to see how I am. Two!
When I used to work as marketing manager for a big company, I received such phone calls every day, from many people, just wondering “how are you, my dear?”, but in reality chasing my willingness to give them some projects to work.
When I used to take initiative and call people, they would respond gladly, the connection would be maintained. � When I took no initiative, then I found out that very few people care about the others. Sometimes, even what seemed to be a 10 years friendship faded away facing my decision of not keeping those contacts anymore.
Here I am, worth three phone calls, and wiser: if you want connections, then keep them, don’t wait for people to call you, because they won’t and don’t make any illusions they care for you. They don’t really care for anybody, life is rushing them too fast, so they don’t have the time to stop and think of people they like. Usually, they stop only to think of people they need. I don’t think this is good or bad, it’s just the way it is.
Then I put is the other way around: how many people did I call without wanting something, just to check they are OK? The answer is five. In this difference of three people, between the called and the callers resides the disappointment.
So, how many phone calls are YOU worth?
* * *
Lay Khim
18 April 1987
^Pandan Primary 6A'99
^Nanyang Girls High 4/11 '03
^NJC 04S16
^HCJC 04s69
^Singapore Management University
Realizing that my life.. has just begun…
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