Starting Anew!

Monday, May 28, 2007

i had a wonderfully great time on 27 may.

today i woke up feeling great.
but i did up my hair and made it much worse.
received my finance results and yes thank god.
my heart goes out to alvin as well. things will pull through.
and im scared that the same things will happen again.

mm im tired.

~8:36 PM

* * *

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Would you be there - Redwan Ali

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears instead.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I'm away, would you still think of me,
And wish that you could call me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

~10:10 PM

* * *

oh my god.
i declare Professor Leong Kwong Sin as my FAVOURITE prof.. hahhaha
Management Accounting prof...
=)

~5:50 PM

* * *

ok. and my eldest sister just expressed shock.
haha. well
explanations come after friday.

~5:32 PM

* * *

=)
another day i feel so weary again.
tired. tired. tired.
of this.
haha.
i wonder how i can juggle the extremes.
happiness n weariness n tiredness n sadness
but maybe im not juggling at all
its really not fun being in limbo.
but well.
i wonder how ppl do it.
so happily some more. haha.
well i can't.

im tired =)

and im so going to die for finance on friday. haha.
well. and this time im not joking. =)

i wonder how people will react.
sherman n co. maybe happy coz im returning him to them
class shocked coz i was like superglue.
his mom n family sorta happy coz im not up to it anw
army frens happy coz no more disturbances during dota - concentrate fully
him ultimately happy and relieved because the burden is finally put down - no more restrictions of freedom and all that - the happy bachelor

i wonder. who'll truly be sad about it.
whether anyone will bother to look thru the pages of history to be sad.

haha.
tired.

~11:58 AM

* * *

Monday, May 21, 2007

a wave of nostalgia descend as i was just reading some entries in the old blog... and looking over s69 pictures. haha. indeed... the good old times. i never thought i would look back to both hc and nj with such longing. haha. but i did =) the only regret? not taking enough pictures in J2... sorry. too busy mugging.. haha and i left the memories behind instead. sad. haha.

i realized i've changed. sort of. haha. wouldn't have realized if i didn't had all these to look back at. and wouldn't realize how much i missed hwa chong s69 if the pictures hadn't remained. chucked them at the back of my brain and didn't really look at them. more practical. more realistic. less idealistic. not so nice le. hahah thats me.

but i think. so did many of us. change i mean. change and move on. change and move on. that's life. sad as it is. we all change and move on to different phases in our lives... even our needs change. a lot of the times. separation is inevitable and all we can do is to cherish and keep the memories somewhere safe in our hearts.. knowing that you will always form a very important part of me. at this point of my life.

thank you for all the times you were with me.

~5:59 PM

* * *

Saturday, May 19, 2007

a great song to describe my weariness.

Drawn Out
- Dishwalla

so the lines are lost
on the smallest details
of the life that we tossed
pushed out over the rail
and the wounds run deep
through the one man so bad
he's fallen beneath
the touch of your hand

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold
nothing to find
its wearing' me out
this feeling inside
I'm all drawn out

and the promise we break it
and the reasons we fake it
bring us farther apart
from the love that we make
as the poisonous time
leaves us gasping for air
we run for the past
but were already there

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold
nothing to find
and its wearing me out
this feeling inside
and its all drawn out
its all drawn out
I'm all drawn out

~9:14 PM

* * *

"Every Little Thing"
Dishwalla

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted

~8:42 PM

* * *

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Over My Head
- The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

~11:52 PM

* * *

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Copyright from Ann.

haha. the different colour coding for different ppl i think.

ESFJ

ESFJs are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people's needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJs follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job done.

Living

ESFJs follow the rules and tend to accept them as fair and reasonable. They admire people and teachers who are warm, friendly, and concerned. They are concerned about the feelings of others and like to help out when possible. They begin early to assume responsibility for the welfare of others. They believe it is necessary to give as well as to receive and will often volunteer their time and talents in service organizations.

ESFJs radiate warmth and fellowship, and generally fit in well with their classmates. They value the traditional things that teenagers do and may be involved in various clubs and teams. Their friends often turn to them because of their listening ear and helpful nature.

Often the lives of ESFJs follow a traditional pattern. In adult life, ESFJs take their parent, spouse, employee, or community volunteer roles seriously and are committed to them. They are sensitive to the needs to those around them, sometimes more attuned to others' needs than their own. They gain the respect of others because of their helpfulness, pleasantness, and ability to get things done. They carry out their commitments and are often in charge of events. Mature ESFJs often structure both their work and personal lives so that they can meet the needs of others.

Loving

For the ESFJ, love means warmth and commitment. When ESFJs first fall in love, they show this warmth and concern for their partner in many tangible ways. They will send cards, notes, flowers, special gifts, and other mementos of their affection. If the partner casually mentions a desire for a specific thing, they will try to find just that thing. Once committed in a relationship, ESFJs tend to stay with it even when there is inconvenience to them and perhaps longer than may be healthy. They are able to bring out the best in their partners, even though it may mean putting their own needs second.

Because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. Being practical and realistic, they may not always like effusive shows of affection and prefer moderation instead. ESFJs may be more loyal to the relationship or to the institution of marriage than to the person. ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure.

ESFJs, when scorned, hurt all over and may need to take time to get over the relationship before pursuing a new one. They may too easily and incorrectly blame themselves for the unfavourable outcome and recall instances when perhaps they were not as giving as they might have been. However, ESFJs' standards for giving in a relationship are likely to be above those of some other types. At their worst when scorned, ESFJs can become spiteful and critical of the partner. Because ESFJs are keenly sensitive to others and are tuned in to emotional needs, they really know how to hurt a person in the rare instances when they choose to do so.

(OMG. super accurate. haha.)

Profile by David Keirsey

ESFJs, the most sociable of all types, are energized by interactions with people, tending to idealize whatever or whoever they admire. Harmony is a key to this type, which is represented in about 13 percent of the general population.

Social ties matter to the ESFJs, and their conversations often drift to nostalgic recounting of past memories. Traditions are developed, supported, and carefully observed by the ESFJ.

ESFJs are hurt by indifference and need to be appreciated both for themselves and for the abundance, typically in the form of services, they give to others. They are conscious of appearances and take the opinions of others regarding social standards very seriously. Values in an ESFJ may take the form of shoulds and should nots and may be freely expressed. Conscientious and orderly, ESFJs may become restless when isolated from people.

Home

ESFJ mates have a set of values which contain clear should and should-nots, and they expect their family to abide by these. They are conscientious about home responsibilities, are orderly about the home, and prefer that other occupants be the same. They enjoy socializing and entertaining. ESFJs want family decisions settled efficiently and quickly and want family living routinized, scheduled, and correctly executed. They do not rebel against routine operations, are devoted to the traditional values of home and hearth, respect their marriage vows, and are the most sympathetic of all types. They tend to be dependent on their mates and may marry to insure that they have a proper place in the social strata. They enjoy the rituals connected with serving of good food and beverages, thrive on festive occasions, respect and accumulate a goodly store of material possessions. They take their role in the community seriously and are sensitive to the acknowledged, official decision-makers and identify with them. They are aware of status, and often depend on higher authority as the source of opinions and attitudes.

ESFJs wear their hearts on their sleeves and are outgoing in their emotional reactions. They need to be needed, loved, and appreciated and may spend much energy reassuring themselves that this is the case.

ESFJs usually respect and revere their parents, and as children were responsive and obedient pupils. They seem able to express the right feeling for a given situation. They are soft hearted, sentimental, and usually observe with gusto and a flourish birthdays, anniversaries, and the like, making of the event a delightful, important occasion. At the same time, however, ESFJs can cause others undue tension by expressing anticipations of gloom and doom, exhibiting a bent toward the pessimistic that can be contagious. They need to control their fears that the worst is sure to happen and suppress their tendency toward crepe-hanging and anticipating disasters.

Mates

There is a mutual attraction of ESFJ and INTP. The ESFJ, wanting to serve as an anchorage for the INTP's flights to the higher levels of abstraction, finds in the ISTP an even more likely target for anchorage. The ISTP's flights are often literal, not figurative: He really does fly. Look in the cockpit of almost any aircraft and you'll find an ISTP. Of course, most ISTPs do not fly in the literal sense; but the hankering for adventure and exploration symbolized by flight is there, and it is this, the hankering, that draws the ESFJ like a moth to a flame. How does this serve the giving, caring, comforting nature of ESFJ? Why, when the adventurer returns, of course; the giver of comfort is there to provide rest and recreation.

~8:27 PM

* * *

Hung up on this song.

Boston
- Augustana

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

~8:23 PM

* * *

Friday, May 11, 2007

today during finance class...
my prof was telling us how we can see if a signal is credible.. trustable...
and he gave the example of 3 guys chasing a girl
how does the girl judge which guy is sincere?
some girls answered effort.. and money and all that
and what does all these amount to?
to give a sacrifice that is COSTLY to the person.
Therefore, if say the guy prides his time alot (and u know it) then when he is willing to spend alot of time with you and complete time-consuming projects for u (ie very intricate presents) then u know he really means it.
It doesn't mean that every girl will enjoy guys who just spend their money on them ba.

haha well. its just an interesting discussion =) that i find quite true.

anw experienced an interesting first time today. haha. well. i like it. =)
and for you, i dunno la. haha i think. i gave u so many chances. chances u let me down again and again and again and again. haha. its tiring.

think its time im giving the chances to someone else.
but er after 25 may. :P

~11:41 PM

* * *

umm im just v tired.
tired of all the tears. effort. doubts.
im just for your temporal enjoyment.
nowhere near the important stuff.
health. life. future. heart.
trust? where is it.
even i have lost my trust.
and its something that is oh so difficult to regain.
just another crack in the crystal heart.
whats new?

~12:13 AM

* * *

Thursday, May 10, 2007

tks dear for sending me the song.

Secret Garden
- Bruce Springsteen

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hidesShe'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heartIf you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice
You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget
She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you needWill always stay
A million miles away

~10:03 PM

* * *

ah i wonder why nel is freeer these days =) meeeet u innn JUNE kkkk

Too Little Too Late
- Jojo

Ooh no

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
(You know it´s just a little too late)

So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know

It's just a little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
You know it's just too little too late

Yeah, Yeah
Its just too little too late

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
(You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else
I'm lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help
Cause you know

[ Lyrics found on http://www.metrolyrics.com ]

It's just a little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it's just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
MAIN CHOURS

I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh

It's just too little, too late
(Yeah!)

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

(You know it's just too little too late)

It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little to late)
You say you dram of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just a little too late)

~5:51 PM

* * *

what a kuku song. haha ah what more to expect.. the singer already called kooks le.. hah

Naive
- The Kooks

I'm not saying it was your fault
Although you could have done more

Oh you're so naive yet so

How could this be done
Your such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way
Something so beautiful
That everytime I look inside

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I may say it was your fault
Cause I know you could have done more

Oh you're so naive yet so

How could this be done
By such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way something so beautiful
Everytime I look inside

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me

How could this be done
By such a smiling sweetheart

Oh you're so naive yet so

Such an ugly thing
Someone so beautiful
And everytime you're on his side

I know she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it maybe be she's still out to get me

And I know she knows that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it maybe be she's still out to get me

Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to your kite
Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to your kite
Just don't let me down
Just don't let me down
Hold on to this kite
Just don't let me down

~5:46 PM

* * *

"Unfaithful"

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

~5:08 PM

* * *

ah.. haha just a coincidence =P

Jets You've got it all

I was a game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
Put all your fears to rest
Who do i love the best?
Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
Over him

No, don't let him worry you so
Once I met you I let go
Oh you can surely see
You're so much more to me
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best
Don't you know, don't you know

You got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him
(You got it all over him, You got me over him)
Honey it's true there's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call you went
Out on a limb
And you're all that he's not
Just look what I got
Cause you got it all
All over him

~3:29 PM

* * *

ah more suitable for someone:

Click Five - Jenny

She calls me baby
Then she won't call me
Says she adores me
And then ignores me
Jenny, what the problem now?

She keeps her distance
And sits on fences
Puts up resistance
And builds defenses
Jenny, what's the problem

You leave me hanging on the line
Every time you change your mind

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
Keep me hanging on
But we're not moving on
Or standing still
Jenny, you've got me on my knees
Jenny, and it's killing me

She needs her own space
She's playing mind games
Ends up at my place
Saying that she's changed
Jenny, what's the problem

I'm trying to read between the lines
You've got me going out of my mind

Chorus

It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny

Chorus (x2)

It's killing me, Jenny

~1:26 AM

* * *

Thats why you go away
MLTR

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
There is something left in my head

Yes i know

Chorus

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus

That's why you go away I know

~1:08 AM

* * *

i realize how dispensable i can be. haha.

um tired. tired tired. busy busy busy.
give me a rest.
eternal rest will help. haha.

~12:49 AM

* * *

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Someday - MLTR

In my search for freedom
And peace of mind
I’ve left the memories behind
Wanna start a new life
But it seems to be rather absurd
When I know the truth
Is that I always think of you
Chorus:
Someday someway
Together we will be baby
I will take and you will take your time
We’ll wait for our fate
Cos’ nobody owns us baby
We can shake we can shake the rock
Try to throw the picture
Out of my mind
Try to leave the memories behind
Here by the ocean
Wave’s carry voices from you
Do you know the truth
I am thinking of you too
Chorus:
Someday someway
Together we will be baby...
The love we had together
Just fades away in time
And now you’ve got your own world
And I guess I’ve got mine
But the passion that you planted
In the middle of my heart
Is a passion that will never stop

~11:33 PM

* * *

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I heard this song.. and felt that it was really relevant..
and then i thought again...
who or which situation is it exactly relevant to?

an old song by bsb... old yet new u know.. not as nice as they were last time.. but yup here it is

"Incomplete"

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no way
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

~9:08 PM

* * *

Saturday, May 05, 2007

im tired and weary.
i think singlehood is best for now.

~10:37 AM

* * *

Thursday, May 03, 2007

um have been hesitating to write this. haha. but anw.
um me and low are in limbo (haha. by his words) ie. we halfway between break up and non-break up and possibly advancing towards break up.
um don ask me why (until after 25 may pls :P). things just happen and i must say. its mostly my fault. haha. perhaps yup its too early to thiink about the future. well. i dunno. can't blame anybody.

except that i want to say that...
I'll always Love Low Si Han.
my best friend forever and ever!

*muacks!*

~6:54 PM

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